Wednesday, December 29, 2004
More headless iMac nonsense: the last refuge of the delusional
Well, it looks like someone has gone and created yet another obviously false rumor claiming that the mythical "headless iMac" is just around the corner. Let's see if this one meets the criteria for being placed in the looney bin with all the others:
The rumored product has specs identical to the eMac except that the $50 monitor has been removed, and this alone has caused the product's price to magically drop by $300?
Check.
The rumored product is going to be a bargain-basement, entry-level computer that is going to appeal to Switchers who have fancy expensive monitors, despite the fact that anyone who owns a $1000 monitor wouldn't be caught dead connecting it to a $499 computer?
Check.
The rumored product is going to appeal to Switchers who have old beat-up piece of junk monitors left over from their aging PC, despite the fact that a quick sampling of any PC users out in the real world who are in this situation will reveal that are absolutely, completely, totally uninterested in continuing to use their old piece of crap monitor?
Check.
The rumor itself was so clumsily created that it commits obvious errors such as claiming that the rumored product is going to come with a "special" new version of iLife (sans iDVD) that just happens to be the exact same version of iLife that has shipped on every non-SuperDrive Macintosh computer sold in the past year?
Check.
You want to give me a late Christmas present? Let me find the delusional idiot who made up this rumor hanging from my tree when I walk out my front door tomorrow morning.
There's nothing lamer than finding out that there is zero real-world interest in your fantasy product, and then making one last-ditch attempt to somehow drum up real-world interest for it,by making up and spreading a false rumor about its impending launch. And yet it keeps happening over and over again, every time Apple is about to launch real products. You know, that ones that actually have a market? The ones that Windows users are already switching to in droves?
But don't let reality intrude on your little "headless iMac" fantasy, as you're not even done making up cute pet names for your fantasy product. This time you're calling it the "iMac mini," next year you'll be calling it the "U2 Headless iMac Special Edition." But no matter how many names you might make up for your fantasy product, and no matter how many times you spread false rumors about its impending launch, you're not going to change the fact that it's an infinitely bad idea that has absolutely no potential market whatsoever.
Have fun with your little ongoing fantasy game if you must, but you'd better keep it out of my house. If you write in to make one last- ditch effort to get me to change my stance about the stupidest product idea in Apple history, then I'm going to assume that you're the one who started the latest false rumor, and just might be you who's hanging from my tree in the morning.
But all death threats aside, I'm sitting this one out. Been down this road on this issue too many times, and I'm afraid I just don't have the time to waste this time around. Someone please wake me when Apple announces the real products for 2005. In the mean time, I'll be scrounging around to find the amount of rope that's going to be required in order to take care of business tomorrow morning.
Well, it looks like someone has gone and created yet another obviously false rumor claiming that the mythical "headless iMac" is just around the corner. Let's see if this one meets the criteria for being placed in the looney bin with all the others:
The rumored product has specs identical to the eMac except that the $50 monitor has been removed, and this alone has caused the product's price to magically drop by $300?
Check.
The rumored product is going to be a bargain-basement, entry-level computer that is going to appeal to Switchers who have fancy expensive monitors, despite the fact that anyone who owns a $1000 monitor wouldn't be caught dead connecting it to a $499 computer?
Check.
The rumored product is going to appeal to Switchers who have old beat-up piece of junk monitors left over from their aging PC, despite the fact that a quick sampling of any PC users out in the real world who are in this situation will reveal that are absolutely, completely, totally uninterested in continuing to use their old piece of crap monitor?
Check.
The rumor itself was so clumsily created that it commits obvious errors such as claiming that the rumored product is going to come with a "special" new version of iLife (sans iDVD) that just happens to be the exact same version of iLife that has shipped on every non-SuperDrive Macintosh computer sold in the past year?
Check.
You want to give me a late Christmas present? Let me find the delusional idiot who made up this rumor hanging from my tree when I walk out my front door tomorrow morning.
There's nothing lamer than finding out that there is zero real-world interest in your fantasy product, and then making one last-ditch attempt to somehow drum up real-world interest for it,by making up and spreading a false rumor about its impending launch. And yet it keeps happening over and over again, every time Apple is about to launch real products. You know, that ones that actually have a market? The ones that Windows users are already switching to in droves?
But don't let reality intrude on your little "headless iMac" fantasy, as you're not even done making up cute pet names for your fantasy product. This time you're calling it the "iMac mini," next year you'll be calling it the "U2 Headless iMac Special Edition." But no matter how many names you might make up for your fantasy product, and no matter how many times you spread false rumors about its impending launch, you're not going to change the fact that it's an infinitely bad idea that has absolutely no potential market whatsoever.
Have fun with your little ongoing fantasy game if you must, but you'd better keep it out of my house. If you write in to make one last- ditch effort to get me to change my stance about the stupidest product idea in Apple history, then I'm going to assume that you're the one who started the latest false rumor, and just might be you who's hanging from my tree in the morning.
But all death threats aside, I'm sitting this one out. Been down this road on this issue too many times, and I'm afraid I just don't have the time to waste this time around. Someone please wake me when Apple announces the real products for 2005. In the mean time, I'll be scrounging around to find the amount of rope that's going to be required in order to take care of business tomorrow morning.
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