Friday, April 25, 2003
Sherlock 3: Stiv Dzhobs it gives out autographs
One of the neatest things about the Internet is how it can bring the four corners of the earth together in unexpected ways. Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I came across a Russian website that featured a translated version of my recent attempt at humor, "The Five Stages of Macintosh User". Just to see what would happen, I ran the Russian version of my article through Sherlock 3's Russian-to-English translator. I wanted to see just how much would be lost in the "double" translation of having gone from English to Russian, and then back to English again.
As far as I'm concerned, Sherlock's version is much funnier than what I oringally wrote -- so much so that I wanted to pass it along to those readers who, like me, find humor in the unintentionally absurd. Click here to compare it to the original article. Oh, and if you're wondering who "Stiv Dzhobs" is, just say it out loud a few times and you'll get it. Here's the translation:
Five stages in the life any poppy -hzera
The technicals
Stage 1. User uses word combinations "there that piece" for describing different parts it dipped.
Stage 2. User knows several technicals, but it is pronounced them incorrectly.
Stage 3. User is described its poppy, using maksimamal'no a possible quantity of technicals, but it does not know the value of majority of them.
Stage 4. User is returned to the use of a word combination "there that piece" for describing different parts it dipped, because he does not want, that its vosprinimali as expert in the region of technical support because of the fear conducted the remainder of life, giving out free consultations.
Stage 5. User thoroughly knows thousands of terms, but most frequently calls its poppy simply "my wheelbarrow".
He worked with the text documents
Stage 1. User uses AppleWorks, because this application already bylo is established on its poppy.
Stage 2. User continues he used AppleWorks, but it thinks that would acquire Microsoft Word, since application for $400 it apparently must was properly good.
Stage 3. User uses Microsoft Word, since the mass of supplemental possibilities, but thus far does not know in this application, as it worked with them.
Stage 4. User to the perfection manages Micorsoft Word, and greatly it survives from the fact that earlier he did not know all possibilities of application and lost much time.
Stage 5. User again uses AppleWorks, because in the assault was angry it removed Microsoft Word.
He worked with the electronic mail
Stage 1. User accomplishes telephone calls so that it would verify poluchili people of the letters, which it to them sent.
Stage 2. User prints out each obtained letter so that stage 3 would be confident in its safety. User ceases it checked mail at three P.M., on the path into the tank.
Stage 4. User sends the letters to its associates, who sit after the adjacent computers - it is simple because to eat this possibility.
Stage 5. User sends to itself letter so that would verify how rapidly they it was returned.
The first iMac
Stage 1. User buys to itself the first iMac, because it appears very attractively.
Stage 2. User is hated its iMac, because several years pierced, and it to these was attractive.
Stage 3. User buys four different models iMac and it gives nickname to each of them.
Stage 4. User is converted its iMac into the present aquarium.
Stage 5. To user annoys aquarium, and it alters it again into the the original iMac
iBook
Stage 1. User is acquired iBook, but it is afraid was taken it with itself
Stage 2. User beret iBook with itself into the leave, but never does not take out its bag.
Stage 3. User beret iBook into the aircraft and during the flight redaktiruyet video.
Stage 4. User beret iBook into the aircraft, is indicated that it - Stiv Dzhobs it gives out autographs.
Stage 5. To user beret iBook into the aircraft, but only in that case, if in flight anything it was happened of its PowerMac G4 and display Apple Cinema
Determination Of "megahertz"
Stage 1. the "velocity of computer"
Stage 2. "millions of cycles per second"
Stage 3. "the very simplified and most frequently
inaccurate attempt measured the general productivity of system"
Stage 4. "myth created so that it would force the users PC would be replaced its terrible computers by the same, but are more rapid"
Stage 5. User silently beats on it faced PC-hzerov with each reference of the word
of "megahertz"
Outlying devices
The stage of y.Pol'zovatel' buys printer for $30 and is experienced confusion apropos of that how can it adapted other ports USB
Stage 2. User buys scanner (after the half year comparison of prices in the different firms), scanner is used one time, after which
Stage 3. stands that covered by the pile of papers.
Purchase iPod, disappointment with the fact that iPod does not lose vinyls.
Stage 4. User buys portable digital video camera and so frequently it it is used that it begin it took in as the part of face of user
stage 5. User knows that USB- tire supports to 127 devices, because personally it was convinced of this
Visit of the Poppy- sites
Stage 1. User reads wash- articles with Apple.com and is believed to each word.
Stage 2. User attends sites with different gossips and it is believed to each word.
Stage 3. User attends MacCentral, but reads only news isolated in boldface
Stage 4. User attends all possible news sites and reads all news, in which is mentioned Apple
Stage 5. User creates its own Poppy- site, because it chuvstvuyet, that in this there is urgent need
Readers, does anyone have any ideas on how "refers to his car as a 'thingy'" managed to become "most frequently calls its poppy simply 'my wheelbarrow'"? Has Sherlock lost its mind, or is it too much to expect anything to survive two translations and still be of any value beyond making us laugh? And has anyone actually gotten an autograph from Stiv Dzhobs? Go ahead and translate your thoughts.
One of the neatest things about the Internet is how it can bring the four corners of the earth together in unexpected ways. Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I came across a Russian website that featured a translated version of my recent attempt at humor, "The Five Stages of Macintosh User". Just to see what would happen, I ran the Russian version of my article through Sherlock 3's Russian-to-English translator. I wanted to see just how much would be lost in the "double" translation of having gone from English to Russian, and then back to English again.
As far as I'm concerned, Sherlock's version is much funnier than what I oringally wrote -- so much so that I wanted to pass it along to those readers who, like me, find humor in the unintentionally absurd. Click here to compare it to the original article. Oh, and if you're wondering who "Stiv Dzhobs" is, just say it out loud a few times and you'll get it. Here's the translation:
Five stages in the life any poppy -hzera
The technicals
Stage 1. User uses word combinations "there that piece" for describing different parts it dipped.
Stage 2. User knows several technicals, but it is pronounced them incorrectly.
Stage 3. User is described its poppy, using maksimamal'no a possible quantity of technicals, but it does not know the value of majority of them.
Stage 4. User is returned to the use of a word combination "there that piece" for describing different parts it dipped, because he does not want, that its vosprinimali as expert in the region of technical support because of the fear conducted the remainder of life, giving out free consultations.
Stage 5. User thoroughly knows thousands of terms, but most frequently calls its poppy simply "my wheelbarrow".
He worked with the text documents
Stage 1. User uses AppleWorks, because this application already bylo is established on its poppy.
Stage 2. User continues he used AppleWorks, but it thinks that would acquire Microsoft Word, since application for $400 it apparently must was properly good.
Stage 3. User uses Microsoft Word, since the mass of supplemental possibilities, but thus far does not know in this application, as it worked with them.
Stage 4. User to the perfection manages Micorsoft Word, and greatly it survives from the fact that earlier he did not know all possibilities of application and lost much time.
Stage 5. User again uses AppleWorks, because in the assault was angry it removed Microsoft Word.
He worked with the electronic mail
Stage 1. User accomplishes telephone calls so that it would verify poluchili people of the letters, which it to them sent.
Stage 2. User prints out each obtained letter so that stage 3 would be confident in its safety. User ceases it checked mail at three P.M., on the path into the tank.
Stage 4. User sends the letters to its associates, who sit after the adjacent computers - it is simple because to eat this possibility.
Stage 5. User sends to itself letter so that would verify how rapidly they it was returned.
The first iMac
Stage 1. User buys to itself the first iMac, because it appears very attractively.
Stage 2. User is hated its iMac, because several years pierced, and it to these was attractive.
Stage 3. User buys four different models iMac and it gives nickname to each of them.
Stage 4. User is converted its iMac into the present aquarium.
Stage 5. To user annoys aquarium, and it alters it again into the the original iMac
iBook
Stage 1. User is acquired iBook, but it is afraid was taken it with itself
Stage 2. User beret iBook with itself into the leave, but never does not take out its bag.
Stage 3. User beret iBook into the aircraft and during the flight redaktiruyet video.
Stage 4. User beret iBook into the aircraft, is indicated that it - Stiv Dzhobs it gives out autographs.
Stage 5. To user beret iBook into the aircraft, but only in that case, if in flight anything it was happened of its PowerMac G4 and display Apple Cinema
Determination Of "megahertz"
Stage 1. the "velocity of computer"
Stage 2. "millions of cycles per second"
Stage 3. "the very simplified and most frequently
inaccurate attempt measured the general productivity of system"
Stage 4. "myth created so that it would force the users PC would be replaced its terrible computers by the same, but are more rapid"
Stage 5. User silently beats on it faced PC-hzerov with each reference of the word
of "megahertz"
Outlying devices
The stage of y.Pol'zovatel' buys printer for $30 and is experienced confusion apropos of that how can it adapted other ports USB
Stage 2. User buys scanner (after the half year comparison of prices in the different firms), scanner is used one time, after which
Stage 3. stands that covered by the pile of papers.
Purchase iPod, disappointment with the fact that iPod does not lose vinyls.
Stage 4. User buys portable digital video camera and so frequently it it is used that it begin it took in as the part of face of user
stage 5. User knows that USB- tire supports to 127 devices, because personally it was convinced of this
Visit of the Poppy- sites
Stage 1. User reads wash- articles with Apple.com and is believed to each word.
Stage 2. User attends sites with different gossips and it is believed to each word.
Stage 3. User attends MacCentral, but reads only news isolated in boldface
Stage 4. User attends all possible news sites and reads all news, in which is mentioned Apple
Stage 5. User creates its own Poppy- site, because it chuvstvuyet, that in this there is urgent need
Readers, does anyone have any ideas on how "refers to his car as a 'thingy'" managed to become "most frequently calls its poppy simply 'my wheelbarrow'"? Has Sherlock lost its mind, or is it too much to expect anything to survive two translations and still be of any value beyond making us laugh? And has anyone actually gotten an autograph from Stiv Dzhobs? Go ahead and translate your thoughts.
Comments:
Post a Comment
